and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
