What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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