Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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