so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
