we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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