I wannas sexs uuuuu
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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