but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
