I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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