if you like me you must not know who I am
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
