two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
