We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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