Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
