Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
