My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
