please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
