just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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