I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Randomize
