watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
