Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
