he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
