How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize