We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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