i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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