summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
