I didn't shave. On purpose
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
