my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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