if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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