I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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