mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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