i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
