In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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