he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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