not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I should be sponsored by Trojan
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
