I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
