He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
