Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
