There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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