I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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