Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
