Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize