That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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