P.S. I can't hear my feet
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
