I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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