if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
