She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
