the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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