You can't special order awesome
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
