? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
