so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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