it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
