So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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