youre lurking in front of me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
