i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
