That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
