The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
