I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
