oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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