she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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